Ron-isms

My good friend, Jessica, suggested that I share some of the highlights of hubby's linguistic genius. My family and friends know it as Ron-isms---phrases and euphemisms that hubby butchers while saying them in English. Portuguese is his first language. I know one day I will make millions publishing all the Ron-isms that I hear everyday into a coffee table book. So here are a few samplings. The first part is how he says it in English. The second part is the translation or explanation.

1. Ja Ja Gabor----Zsa Zsa Gabor
2. Bucket of Chucks---Church's Fried Chicken
3. I smell beef!---commenting about himself after coming out of a steakhouse
4. Bone-Ass---Bonus S fertilizer (yes, hubs actually went up to a garden center employee at Home Depot and asked where he could find the Bone-Ass)
5. Peneses---pennies
6. Turd---third
7. McVomit---McDonald's
8. Shop-n-Crap---Shop and Stop (name of popular convenience store in Massachusettes)
9. Taco Hell---Taco Bell
10. I'd be poopen---ibuprophen (Motrin)
11. Massacrupits---Massachusettes
12. Fall Hivie---Fall River (where hubs lived for 10 years before moving to FL)
13. Handiscrap---handicapp
14. She's ugly, stupid and dummy---hubs way of expressing an actress' lack of talent
15. Bracko, bracko!---breaker, breaker! (you know, when you talk on a cb radio)
16. You're going to get a beat!---you're going to get a beating!
17. Duck Face---Penelope Cruz (Hubs thinks this actress looks like a duck)
18. I was taking a dump and I had this idea...---many times hubs has come of the bathroom saying this.
19. Fag Rag---fag hag
20. You want a piss of this???---You want a piece of this???
21. Texican---person from Texas
22. Cubican---person from Cuba
23. You're a hooker!---You're a ringer! (Hubs blurted this out while playing poker with a friend who was obviously more skilled than he was)
24. Penis soup---peanut soup
25. I'm going to make a log---I'm going to get a log for the fire
26. Ana loves the tongue---Ana has had a tongue sandwich before at a deli
27. Stupidvisor---supervisor
28. I'm very observirit---I'm very observant
29. Dee lick ca see---delicacy
30. Orange grapefruit juice---orange juice
31. Booker---bookie
32. Do you have itchy ass?---hubs asked this after getting his shorts wet and was not able to change his clothes
33. Pumping ass---pompous ass
34. Boob biggies---big boobies
35. This tv has rocks---this tv has balls
36. Subistitute---substitute
37. Dennis's---Denny's restuarant
38. I hurt my toe!---I hurt my thumb!
39. I'm officially awake!---an announcement hubs likes to make when he gets out of bed
40. I'm not changing your clostomy bag---what hubs likes to say to his good buddy
41. Pee Pee---Fifi (name of our dog)
42. Dad, you're retarded now---Dad, you're retired now.
43. Dunkin Vomit---Dunkin Donut
44. Half and half or black and white---what hubs says when ordering a black and tan beer
45. Ass Felt---asphalt
46. Don't go there, boyfriend---don't go there, girlfriend
47. Is the Catholic pope?---Is the pope Catholic?
48. Ray bye---rabbi